Month: September 2024

I’m sure many readers of our blog have already heard the news of John’s peaceful passing home going. You can read his obituary and funeral details here. The funeral will also be livestreamed on our church website www.benton.church.

Tuesday night, we had a PSW come to stay overnight and look after John so that I could get some rest. She woke me up in the wee hours of Wednesday morning to tell me that he had stopped breathing. I am so thankful that I had such a kind, compassionate individual here to make his death as peaceful a process as possible. He wasn’t in any pain. And from now on, he no longer will be.

Thank you for praying for us and supporting us over the almost 6 year long journey this has been. Calling it a battle does not seem an exaggeration. Near the end, he said to me, “When all of this is over and I’m gone, just take some time to rest.” So on that note, I’ll end with the words of another song that I love, by Keith & Kristyn Getty, Jordan Kauflin and Matt Merker:

“Are you weary, heavy laden? Come and lay your burdens down. Jesus calls you. Jesus draws you. Rest in Him.”

It’s been two weeks since our last post here and a lot has happened.

Last Friday John started taking the chemo pill, but unfortunately it led to some intolerable side effects. As you know if you’ve been following this blog for awhile, he’s used to spending a lot of time on the toilet while on chemo, but this time was much more difficult as he needed help to get up and go to the bathroom several times per day. It was exhausting him so much and putting him at risk for dehydration, so after discussing it with the palliative care and oncology teams, he stopped taking the pill after only 4 days. It was basically a last resort, but the oncologist said that if it’s detracting from his quality of life, John should stop taking it.

The water pills do seem to be helping as his abdomen is no longer as distended. He finally got an appointment to get a permanent drain put in this week, but the nurse practitioner ended up canceling it. At this point he can hardly get out of bed, let alone out of the house to go to an appointment.

We have a hospital bed in our bedroom now and the nurses are going to start coming to check on him everyday instead of every other day. He might be starting to get a pressure sore on his tailbone so they want to keep a close eye on that.

The main problem facing us now is that John’s liver seems to be reaching its capacity. He’s jaundiced and more sleepy than usual. The nurse practitioner who visits us knows that John is the type of person who likes to plan ahead and have as much information as possible, so she was very frank with us. Her best guess is that he might only have days left to live. “Maybe many days,” she said, but likely not weeks, and certainly not months. We may not know exactly how long he has left, but God knows.

Hymns always comfort me. One that John and I both love is:

“What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! / What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!”

As some of you have reminded me, it’s never too late to ask God for a miracle. Thank you for reminding us that you care and are praying! Please pray that John wouldn’t have too much pain. Pray for strength for me as I look after him and the kids. Pray for Harry, Daisy, Maggie and Poppy, that they would be able to enjoy some meaningful, memorable times with their Dad in these uncertain days.